Shame and guiltiness

I opened a book in a library and I stumbled upon the sources of different body problems. I’m absolutely convinced that our body only reflects our thoughts, beliefs and basically who we think we are.

Then I looked at eczema and skin problems which I have a tendency to be prone to for long years now. The reasons put forward: shame and guiltiness! One of them has been confirmed by a more recent trouble, although only punctual.


Is this information reliable?

It is not the first time I see this kind of result. And, to be honest, I’d say these words resonate with my feelings of unease.

It is difficult to really understand what the trouble is about. Sometimes I can perceive more clearly those kind of feelings, but to make do with it is another story.

As always I’m sure there are plenty of reasons for that, and very certainly one could find some explanations in my childhood. However I’m not so sure that is so important. First because past is behind and just doesn’t exist anymore. That’s so obvious…

What has some real interest is what is happening right now. No matter what happened, it is what is happening now that is of concern. Even if now is a reflection of my past, it is what I think now, what I remember now, what I feel now, which is real.


Stress and anxiety

I’m sure those feelings of shame and guiltiness have a lot to do with any situation of stress, anxiety and all related troubles. And I am prone to those ones, not excessively though. And as a matter of fact, I think I am not more prone to them than the “average” person. Nonetheless it is not a normal situation and if I don’t really see how to change that at first, I’m still aware of the situation.

I think being as aware as possible is always the first step in any change. I also believe that as in mathematics or any kind of problem solving, to understand very well the problem is 80% of the solution. So at first I’m “looking” at these feelings as clearly as possible during my day. And that is obviously a challenge as you just want to avoid any feeling of shame. So what do you do? You do everything that is possible to ignore them, to forget them.


What next?

I’d say, at this point, that I’m able to see that seeing life through this kind of feeling is completely changing my reality. I’m also able to perceive how much good things I’m able to perform and thoses things are completely unrelated to any feeling of shame or gulitiness. So there are really two “parts” in me, or let’s say two options.

Perceiving those two options is a great step to stopping to identifying to the guilty or shamefull personality in me. I can reason with myself and remember that it is just not the reality. It is only one option to determine what kind of life I am experiencing. And obviously who I am is much more than that!