We are all always trying to get something more, thinking our life will be better. But can you see how this something more is just there either to:
- compensate for something else we don’t have
- as a means to get something else. Or at least the better life we imagine we’ll have implies this something else
What we really want
If everyone can speak of sex more or less freely, I believe there is a lot of taboo concepts hiden behind. And I also believe that sex, or better sex, is what we are more or less looking for through different goals.
I must admit that I think love is the real thing we are looking for. Unconditional love!
But on the one hand we usually associates this complete love with a love relationship. On the other hand we can experience this love at best during a sexual relation. So I believe the primary cause of a lot of our goals implies great sexual relations in them!
But is that a respectable goal? Can we admit that to ourself? And if we can’t clearly say that to others, we quickly become convinced of our own arguments. I want to be better in this activity because I love this activity! But the final image is more pride, more feeling of worth, more recognition… of the ones we want to be admired by.
In the end we want to feel more alive, more ourself, fully ourself! And relationships play a major part in our experience of life…
I took sex as an example because I believe that it is a good one, first of all. But also because it is a good image of what is at play. There are the things we own up to ourself, and those we have been conditioned to disavow.
And whether it be sex or any other “explosive” truth, the principles are the same!
No matter what reason is behind, the fact is that we don’t even have a clear idea of what we really want. And that’s the number one problem that prevents us from being happy!
Achieving our hottest desires
Now there is a second problem that hinders our true desires to surface: we feel unable, not worthy, of such thing. At least not right now… And that’s why we need more success in certain areas of our life, so that we feel we deserve other things!
The solution comes in two steps:
1/ Owning up to ourself what are our hottest desires
A simple way to uncover them all: notice each time someone, or a situation, an idea… makes you react strongly. Especially if you feel some sort of jealousy. But also some anger, resentment, or any other emotional reaction.
It means something is resonating with yourself. And if you never allowed yourself to access something you strongly desire, you can only feel ill at ease when you notice that others can have it and not you!
But now it is going to become easier because you know there is something to uncover. Something you are going to change for the better!
2/ Deciding you are as worthy as anyone else, and so you too deserve that thing
Now not only are you fully aware of what really motivates you, but you can also work on it directly. You don’t constrain yourself to reach anything first before you can dream of what you really want.
And when you realize that nobody is more worthy than anyone, then you can start to accept the idea that what you desire is as much for you as for anyone else!
I say that you can “start” to accept this idea, because as you’ve been conditioned (and you’ve continued to condition yourself), you’ll have to create another inertia to replace these old beliefs (and emotions).
But once you know:
- what you want
- that it is totally possible
- how to do it
you have only reasons to be happy!
You’re now directly creating the life you really want!
