Yesterday we stated that we did control half of any of our relationships. If the other half belongs to the other person (or part) of the relation, our part is very real!
Now what can you do with this part of the relation that you do control?
One important aspect is what you want to develop. And as you surely know, what you focus on develops. So your role is now to focus on the parts of the person you’re in relation with that you do appreciate. The more you’re going to focus on them, the more they’re going to develop.
It’s obvious that if you praise somebody’s attitude or behavior, this person is much more likely to enjoy what’s happening and then to reinforce this attitude. Now if you focus on what you don’t like in this person, she/he is likely to feel ill-at-ease and even to defend himself. Now it becomes a matter of who’s right or wrong or justifying what’s happening…
I’m not saying we should overlook any problem in a relation. Just that as we enjoy certain aspects and don’t enjoy other aspects (and both will always co-exist) we have to develop the one we like. And so focus, expand, react 10 times more on this side of the relationship!
The results are obvious…
